Ava L.
She/her | 21 | Jiangxi province
My middle name is Tian (天) meaning sky or heaven. My adopted parents were originally thinking about naming me Skye but chose the Chinese translation when they decided on Ava. Although I’ve never learned Chinese, I’ve always felt connected with my middle name as it’s provided me with a sense of identity in terms of reminding me where I’m from and what I have to give.
I was only a few days old when I was left at a fire station with a note. My birth parents chose to leave me in a public space where they knew I would be found quickly. I was then taken to an adoption agency where an older couple agreed to foster me until I was adopted by my parents: Jan and Gerard.
Below my mom and dad retell their experience with my adoption.
I first decided to draw my family because my family means the world to me. They have given me love and support and have shown me what it looks like to be a compassionate, hardworking, and confident person. While COVID separated me from my friends, being quarantined at home allowed me to spend quality time with my parents. On a personal level, COVID took many things away from me but the time I got to spend with them is something I will always cherish and be grateful for. Next is my dog, Beau Diddley. We've grown up together and I couldn't imagine a world without him. The misshapen figure is a poorly drawn image of my college's mascot as I have so many amazing memories and friendships during my time at college. As I continue to learn more about myself I’ve had the privilege to not only experience what great friendships look like but what they feel like. The next item I then decided to include is a frisbee disc as I'm part of the ultimate frisbee team at school. Being a part of this sports club has been my family away from home these past two years. The last image is my house. I'm a homebody and my childhood home will always be a part of my foundation.
Connecting with Chinese culture
My adoptive mom is Chinese, so I’ve had the privilege of being able to experience parts and elements of Chinese culture and traditions while growing up. These more natural encounters and exposures to Chinese culture throughout my life have helped me establish a sense of belonging and have provided me comfort that has fostered a stronger relationship between my American identity and Chinese identity.
When I’m with my mom’s side of the family we often make dim sum. I’m an avid foodie, so I can’t picture a better way to spend time than with loved ones while eating delicious homemade har gow, siu Mai, xiaolongbao, and cha siu bao.
I’ve never had the strong urge to learn Chinese, and while this is partially due to the fact that languages have never been my strong suit, I have always felt uncertain about learning it. While I would love to learn Chinese, I feel an external pressure to want and to know how to speak Chinese, simply because I am adopted from China. Simultaneously, I place this internal pressure on myself that I’m too Americanized to truly immerse myself in Chinese culture, although I feel a certain kind of guilt for not speaking Chinese. It is a complicated matter of mixed of feelings that I’ve been trying to confront and dismantle throughout my life.
Podcast
Sit down with Callie and Ava as we discusses what being adopted means to us. We discuss family dynamics, feelings of connection and disconnection, friendships, attachment styles, returning to China, and DNA testing.
